To the woman before me…

I’m sorry I mocked your substance use - I know now that it was a coping mechanism for the pain.

I’m sorry I made fun of your appearance - I know now how it feels to lose all self-worth and not have the strength to put on makeup or comb your hair.

I’m sorry I downplayed your illnesses - I know now that mental health is intertwined with physical health and if your mind isn’t healthy, it can make you physically ill.

I’m sorry I called you fake - I know now that you don’t really find yourself or come into your own skin until you are away from the abuse. I know that it’s easier to be vanilla than to be put down for being you.

I’m sorry I called you lazy - I know now that when it gets really bad, your body and brain feel like lead weights are holding them down.

I’m sorry I made fun of your weight - I know now that food becomes your comfort when you’re alone at night, and I know it’s safer to eat alone than be told what you should and shouldn’t eat in public.

I’m sorry I called you a bad mom - I know now that it is hard to keep your cool with kids when your nerves feel like frayed ropes, there is no one to help, and they are being told they don’t have to listen to you.

I’m sorry I dubbed you a loner - I know now that it’s easier to keep friends and family away so they don’t see what is really going on.

I’m sorry I took pleasure in your failed relationships - I know now that it takes a long time and a lot of therapy to learn how to fight fair, how to trust, how to accept real love, and how to not be in constant fight-or-flight mode.

I’m sorry I called you crazy - He called me crazy too.